i am so PROOOOOUUUUUD of you.
this is what my mutti would say (still says) in the voice of lovable, furry old grover when she wanted to tell me that I had done well at something. :) i like her funny voice.
last night, for probably the first time in my life, that voice was actually in MY head and was coming from me about me. it was a very surreal experience. maybe y'all are proud of yourselves a lot. and if so - that's really neat and probably good for you and stuff... but, um, my self expectations are, well, sorta ridiculous if i really want to be honest about it, and therefore, it's generally pretty hard to live up to them.
last night, after 16 hours of rehearsals broken up over 3 1/2 part days, i performed a staged reading of a one woman show with singing and piano playing... it was 90 minutes straight…of me. it was one of the scariest things anyone has ever asked me to do and that was why I said yes. :) And it ended up being one of the best theater experiences I have ever had. There is no one you can look to but you when you are the only one on stage and holy shit, there is a lot to learn about yourself and your relationship to acting and theater and life and god, everything, when are put in such a vulnerable place. Like my character said at one point in the show, "It was terrifying. I loved it!"
posted by arweena @ 11:38 AM
2 Comments:
Ohhhhh wowwww.... how I wish I had seen it. May I add, "_I_ am proud of you," as your friend. What you just described is pretty much my worst fear-- well, excluding death. And scuba diving. And I had a nightmare about rock climbing the other night, though I never thought I was afraid of heights during my waking life. So that makes at least three things you do that leave me in complete and utter awe of how courageous you are. Facing your fear and not running away from it-- instead of, like me, pretending to be sick on a day you are supposed to do an oral presentation? Actually taking something on _because_ it is a fear of yours? You are awesome, really and truly amazing.
(For the record, I think the 90 minutes of being onstage, just you, with no other actors to turn to, is scarier than either scuba diving or rock climbing...and that is saying A LOT.)
thank you sarita. :) believe you me though, there are days when I'm on the way to the circus center thinking about pulling my ass over my head 20 feet in the air just in order to come plunging down...and i want to cry.
Post a Comment
<< Home