buildings and bridges are made to bend in the wind...

...to withstand the world, that's what it takes.

yes. thank you ani.

This morning I was so tired. So very, very tired. You know that deep, deep feel-it-in-the-fabric-of-your-soul tired? Yeah. That kind of tired. (I have a feeling that all of you with kids are going 'um, yes Arwen, we know' or you are thinking 'um, just wait til you have a kid Arwen, it gets worse!') ;)

There was a 10 car pile up on the golden gate bridge yesterday. It happened at about 2:40pm. Our call time in Mill Valley was 3pm. Blanche and I were in my car on our merry way, excited about stuff, happy that we were running ahead of schedule and la la la when suddenly traffic came to a dead halt. Then the emergency crews started coming…police, fire trucks, ambulances, helicopters. LOTS of them. The great big beautiful suspension bridge was literally quivering with all the hubbub. We ended up stranded there in the dead middle of the bridge for a full hour. What we didn't realize is that we were only maybe 500 feet from the accident. We missed it by about 30 seconds to 1 minute at the most. As Carrie (my Blanche) and I sat there in Saphira getting later and later for rehearsal, we had a certain strange calm descend upon us and started talking about how intensely lucky we were - to be alive - to be there together - to be okay, when so many other people were really hurting - to be stuck in the middle of the most beautiful bridge in the world on a crisp, clear sunny day staring straight into the Marin Headlands, where red-tailed hawks were lazily circling, whilst utter chaos ensued below. It was all rather intense. After this strange, hazy hour passed, we started moving forward and that's when we found out just how CLOSE we had been to the actual accident. We saw some of the cars being towed away and it was just horrifying. A Volvo had crossed over into the oncoming traffic lanes of 101 southbound and the crash had spread from there… and it just happened to be the last thing we saw once we finally cleared the bridge - this carcass of a Volvo. I have never seen anything like it. It was deeply unsettling on a very base human level.

There are too many things going on and too many things to do. I have totally reached overwhelmed status. Dave is trying to pick up the slack, but he's busy too, so, yeah… it's a lot. All of the planning of our east and west coast celebratory deals, plus the show, plus the day job, plus trying to at least keep my pinkie in the circus arena, bills, cleaning, laundry, endless e-mails…..blah blhababhalbalbhalbhlbhalbahlab you get the idea. I mean Easter sorta popped up out of nowhere. Dave's birthday passed with me basically being out for the count. So so so hard to keep up right now. I was really proud of myself today for remembering to pick up some raspberry jam. That's sorta parthetic.

Daniel (my Stanley) has introduced me to this CrossFit phenomenon. http://www.crossfit.com/ it's sorta totally insane and totally different than anything that I currently do (or have ever done, I guess). I will tell you - it is HARD core. I really like it. :) Today, I had a pretty short amount of time between tech rehearsal ending and call time for our first preview and yet with the help of this CrossFit thing, I kicked my own ass hardcore in about 20 minutes. Pleasing.

Ok - I need one small little play vent:
I still love this play desperately and I still love my little precious Stella desperately, but jesus, could somebody please cut her a break? Having to negotiate two rather enigmatic, manipulative, needy and passionate people for a 3 hour play is starting to drain the poor Stella. She really is so very caught in the middle of two tornadoes and I don't know how much that translates since she works so hard to keep her feet on the ground… but I will tell you that the Arwen that is the Stella could use a little petting now and then. Blanche is not the only DuBois sister who is sensitive.