Series of Unfortunate Events

what a week.

1) Sadly, even though there was an incredible amount of opposition (including a whole hell of a lot of you all – thank you!), the politicians of Florida let my little majestic seacow friends down and have voted to downlist manatees from 'endangered' to 'threatened'. This is so awful that I get a little misty every time I think about it and therefore will just direct you to www.savethemanatee.org (should you want more information and to send a follow-up e-mail of disgust), instead of trying to write anymore about it. Sigh. It's a sad world these days.

2) i cannot speak to much to this, as i am still tender from the loss. But on Wednesday some mother fucker broke a large back window in our truck (in broad daylight, during rush hour) and stole everything out of the back which included Dave's climbing bag (that's right folks, AGAIN!) and my guitar. That would be Seacow #1 to those of you that know. This was my first guitar. The one that I learned on. The one I wrote all my songs on. She was my baby. I hate how much it makes me think people suck and I hate how angry and sad and violated and shitty and fruitless and vague it makes me feel.

3) a co-worker of mine sits in a great corner cube by windows facing the parrot park. He sometimes calls me over when he sees them flocking, or hawks circling or sea lions in the bay or any other animal occurrence that he knows I will be excited about. ok. So he calls me over on Thursday to say that he thinks that he sees an injured pigeon in the street outside (we watch these things from the 18^th floor) and it's incredible because he seems to have a flock mate that will just NOT leave his side – even when cars go speeding by. So I looked out and kind of saw what he was talking about, but asked him how it was he had initially spied this as it was kind of hard to see. He pulls out a pair of very nice binoculars and says, “This is how.” - and hands them to me. So I take a look at where he was indicating and I locate the two pigeons and what he said seems to be true and before I can open my mouth to tell him so, a car enters my view and runs right over the injured bird killing it instantly. It was, um, unpleasant timing for me. And YES - I know. I know everyone thinks that they are rats with wings. I know that they sort of are rats with wings. I know that they have beady little insane eyes. I know that they are dirty and eat leftover KFC which is really wrong in so many ways. BUT - I still do not wish to watch them get run over. In vivid detail. :(

4) I seem to officially hate my day job and have become very slovenly and feel like I am making errors and being lazy and have fallen into a rut in a position that holds no interest for me and does not use enough of my faculties and yet pays me enough to work part-time and so i cannot seem to leave, yet something must change.

5) I killed a spider on Monday before I even really realized what I was doing, but that's kind of a lie, since as I did it I apologized to him. He started to run for my hand up the dustbuster and I couldn't tell what kind of spider he was and in a very strange fit of thoughtlessness I shook him off the vac, said, “I am so sorry for this Mr. Spider” and I crushed him with the dustbuster and immediately dustbusted him up. I don't know why. So out of character. I save EVERYthing and walk it out of the apartment to safety. I feel terrible and just had to admit my guilt. Maybe that's why my seacow was stolen? Spider karma? However another spider was walking toward me across the bathroom floor tonight and I did indeed pick him up and carry him out of the apartment. And I apologized to him as well.

6) I saw a play on Thursday and felt rather conflicted. It was a play that I was down to the finals for a role in and thought I had a VERY good chance at getting (especially since part of the role was to animate a puppet – a skill I have no training in officially, but, well, I think we all know Herbert.) So I did not end up getting the part...but can now see that I had a totally different take on the character....but that's not really what I'm talking about anyway.... I guess I just really wanted to feel some of that old magic. That old theatre magic. That feeling of being so moved by something that your chemistry is altered for a short while along with everyone around you and it's the most amazing feeling of community without really communicating in a normal way – which is why it's so magical – and touching. And important. It's a lot to ask from a show. And from people. And from actors. I guess that is part of what makes it so challenging. And risky. And beautiful. Wow. This is going to be a weird summer.