goodbye mr. speedy, my dear friend....

In memoriam...

let us now bow our heads for a moment of silence for Mr. Speedy. And Mr. Speedy Too. For they have left us in a rather quick and dirty way, yet the happiness and freedom they provided will not be soon forgotten....

Mr. Speedy (a beautiful LeMond Poprad...just lovely, really. which was way too nice for me..being the crusty daily bike commuter that I am...) was gifted to me by Dave after my last bike was stolen which was a nifty bike that I had been gifted by the Northern Police Station due to the heinous nature of my bike before that being stolen and then the ensuing obnoxious way I was treated by the police. But that's a long story that you can hear all about in my song “My bike had a Burger Bell”: here
(if that doesn't work – go to www.merple.com and find the Burger Bell song – while you are there peruse some of Dave's awesome music.)

ANYway...upon first receiving Mr. Speedy I thought myself unworthy. Such a thing of classy, 'tricked-out' beauty. Far superior to any of its predecessors.... i did not want the responsibility of such a high-end item mixed in with my day to day commuting. But Mr. Speedy and I got to know one another and came to an understanding. He took good care of me and I took good care of him. His uncle Spud had even just sent him new wheels since his back tire had blown recently, totally decimating the rim. Ah well. Some asshole will be enjoying that wheel now, complete with the new tough ass tire that I had just received for Festivus. Dave even taught me how to put the wheel together and the tire on and it was very special. But alas, last night at some garish hour of the dead dank rain-soaked late night/early morn, some hoople-head jumped the fence behind our apartment building where there is a small backyard, entered through the back door (which is not a locking door, because no one except tenants should be able to be there), entered the ground level of the building, walked straight to the small back door to the garage and managed (quite easily by the look of it) to obliterate the lock on the door using some medieval type looking scary ass crow bar three pronged straight outta Nightmare on Elm Street tool weapon thing. (We only know this because they LEFT IT BEHIND.) They entered the garage and proceeded to leave the motorcycles and car and climb-gym bags and most of the musical instruments and clothes and helmets and scores and scores and scores of very expensive music recording equiptment that Dave was storing down there and his computer and countless other things and made off with two bikes (Mr. Speedy and Mr. Speedy Too) and Dave's fretless bass. As they must have been rushing to get Mr. Speedy back out and down the hallway to the outside front of the building, my nice new cold weather motorcycle gloves must have slipped off and been ignored, cause they were found in the hallway. That was nice at least. I really like these gloves. My Sky Blue Turtle Fur neckie thing was not found, so I can only assume that they were cold? And yes. Once again they got a Burger Bell along with the deal.

We received a very loud knock on the door at 5:30am this morning from the building caretaker who is the only other person with access to the garage. He had been on the way to work and was first upon the scene and wanted to let us know right away. We pulled our sorry asses out of bed (Dave first, as I have been nursing a nasty ass cold and was planning on sleeping in and trying to get better. HA. HA.) and then proceeded to do all the smart things one is supposed to do. Took stock of the situation. Went through inventory of lost items. Called Police. Retrieved bike serial number information. Made tea. Started packing all other items in garage up and taking them upstairs to the apartment. Ate bagel. Met with Police and gave report. Blahblahblah.

So now I will take my sorry ass and put it back in a sleeping type position. Then we will take MOMWOW to the airport. Then there will be sleep.

But for Mr. Speedy? I will never know how much crack he was sold for....maybe it's best not to know...i do know that I NEVER want to see that break-in tool EVER again. 'Twill haunt my dreams.....

R.I.P. Mr. Speedy
Beloved Bike of Zoominess
4/11/07