confessions of an almost 34 year old.

too busy. so looking forward to this holiday. omigod. need to sit and stare at wall. need to watch more 'battlestar galactica'. need to memorize lines, but do not want to. need to clean clean clean sort sort sort throw out throw out THROW OUT. yeah. that will be good. :)

I cannot even believe it is July. I will be 34 in two weeks. How did that happen? I kinda like 33. 33's been good to me. Yeah. It's been a pretty damn good year. I spent my 33rd birthday sorta in Canada and sorta in Glacier National Park (see blog entry from July of last year for further explanation) smack in the middle of our month long cross-country motorcycle trip and that went right into the crazy Expedition 6-now I have astronaut friends and bill pullman is on my resume and I get to do trapeze for a theatre gig-show at the Magic right into about a kajillion staged readings/yearly mia and dave camping/2 trips to LA for arika and cindy time/LOTS of seeing plays and friends/playing with coraline/circus training 5x a week which morphed into actually starting to teach at the circus center and right into dave and I running away to city hall to get married and right into that equally huge life event that was Streetcar and right into un-wedding/CLL preparations and then the actual west coast AND east coast celebrations and then right off to Hawaii and then right into this new Midsummer show. and road biking. :)

Holy crap.

No wonder I'm tired.

No wonder it feels like there are 10 tons of bricks on top of my body every morning.

Dave weighs like 2 pounds now. He's lost at least one (perhaps two) pants size/s due to all this road biking. He's going to be wearing my pants soon. Hm.

Some unappetizing things that I have learned about myself (some oldies, some rather new): I hate being afraid of things. I hate being bad at things. I hate thinking that someone thinks I'm bad at something. I hate getting up. I fear that I am more self-involved than I wish myself to be. I can actually be quite lazy. I hate it when someone else controls my time. I hate it when I'm low energy. I hate making decisions. I hate upsetting people for any reason at all. I REALLY hate it when people are insensitive and yet I have the ability to be rather nastily insensitive myself. I hate change. I love change. I hate being told what to do. I hate going places where I don't know anyone. I like to be alone WAY more than I think I do. I am often irritated by people that I later realize have the same irritating qualities that I do; it's embarrassing. I am sensitive and needy and moody and cannot lie to save my life. I procrastinate. I am impatient.

Ok. that's enough of that.

Right now I am procrastinating the writing of a letter and the writing of more thank you cards. They make my hand hurt.

Serafina is still with us. :)