breathing

Breathing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't know about you, but when I get nervous about something or if something is physically difficult (lifting, stretching, circus, etc.), my body tenses up and I hold my breath. I don't really even know that I'm doing it; it seems to happen on instinct. Before circus, I never really had to think about breathing much (except for a yoga class here and there - and I was usually too busy grumbling to myself about how much I hate yoga to think much about breathing.) Turns out that breathing through something physically difficult is really good; it makes you more relaxed and makes you lighter. Lighter is good. I just wish it was more intuitive. I still have to constantly remind myself to breath before doing something difficult or scary. On Tuesday, I executed some difficult trapeze moves for the first time out of safety lines. I've been doing these moves for quite some time, but it's amazing how much your brain and body understand the difference between being hooked up to lines that will catch you if you fall and not being hooked up to ANYTHING. As I started to go into the first move, I felt as shaky as if it was my first time trying the trick and so I immediately stopped. I reset myself and checked in and realized - nope - I wasn't breathing. I took a few deep breaths and went on to do the combination. I've found that I've done this a lot in circus recently as I keep pushing to do harder and harder tricks and I'm having to deal with fear again. I'm hoping that one of these days it will start to become second nature, but I don't think that's the way it works. I have a feeling it's one of those 'life lessons' we all know and love. ;)

I employ this with acting too - if I feel nervous before going on stage or into an audition situation, I'll find a quiet corner and take 10 deep breaths. It really helps. I feel my body flood with some sense of calm and then I can actually return to myself. When I was rock climbing, I called it 'finding the zen place'.

So I find myself thinking about breathing more and more as we enter the month of complete and utter insanity that is December. I was just talking about this with my cast mates last night - how this month is totally out of control - and if your life is generally out of control to begin with, this month takes it to entirely new levels. So this year, December is going to be my month of breathing. I highly encourage you to join me in this. I will breathe deeply every time I arrive at the office downtown and am showered in the over-commercialized 'spirit of the season'. I will breathe deeply every time I check my overwhelming email (and I will breathe deeply looking at every party, show, gig, event, etc. that I get invited to and breathe deeply as I know that I cannot make it to all of them.) I will breathe deeply as I think about shopping. I will breathe deeply while shopping. I hate shopping. I will breathe deeply when my brain starts to overfill and all tasks seem insurmountable. I will breathe deeply and organize my tasks instead of flailing and feeling useless and angry and frustrated and altogether un-jolly. I will breathe deeply as I wake up tired every single morning because my body wants to hibernate as it gets colder. I will breathe deeply as it becomes dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. I will breathe deeply for my students as they struggle and succeed and remind them to breathe deeply. I will breathe deeply when I think about presents and trees and candles for the menorah and house cleaning and laundry and buying groceries and birdies kicking all their expensive food all over the cage bottom and onto the rug and the couch. I will breathe deeply as I look into the future and see just how busy this month is with two more weeks of a show running and rehearsals for a new one starting on Saturday and Aerial Silk routines that need to be brushed off in three weeks time and the impossibility of scheduling bike rides and band rehearsals and friend dates and enough time with my husband during the next 4 weeks. Oh god. Hold on - I need to take a really deep breath after that one. Whew. I will breathe deeply for our country…our economy... our sanity… for the eradication of Prop 8… I will breathe deeply for hope… for gratitude… for life. I will breathe deeply and remember that this is supposed to be a season of joy and love and thanks and the giving and receiving of those things (which is WAY better than any physical present).

I'm gonna get SO lightheaded from all this breathing.

Anyhow… I sent this out in an email to a lot of people - but wanted to post it up here as well (you may want to breathe deeply before reading it):

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Many of you know that a few years back my life changed rather dramatically after seeing a beautiful woman perform feats of grace, strength and agility on the aerial silk. Now I train it, teach it and perform it. Many of you have showed interest in either seeing me perform and/or trying some of this zany aerial stuff yerselves. Well. The time has come.

1) I am performing aerial silk at the Circus Center's Open House and Holiday Carnival on Saturday, December 20th. This is a great day to come by and check out what the center is about, try swinging from a trapeze, watch people train and check out a few performances (and it's VERY kid friendly). I'll be performing between 2:30 -2:45pm.

Info:
Circus Center Open House and Holiday Carnival!!!
Please join us as Circus Center celebrates the holidays with an Open House and Carnival, featuring free circus shows, free circus workshops, and a free "tiny tot" area, followed by a recital of our Professional Clown and Aerial Students!

SATURDAY DECEMBER 20
Open House and Carnival - 10 AM - 4 PM *** FREE!!! ***
Circus Center
755 Frederick Street in San Francisco (behind Kezar Stadium)
www.circuscenter.org

2) I have been teaching aerial conditioning and aerial silk at the center since early in the year and I'm going to start teaching even more. Our next session will begin at the start of the New Year and if you'd like to try a class, maybe now is a good time! The Winter Session runs Jan 5 - Mar 29. Direct link to class schedule: HERE

I teach:
Tuesdays 4:30-6 Trapeze 1 (I will be teaching this class every other week with the head of our aerial program, Helene, which is a great opportunity to have two teachers.)
Tuesdays 6-7:30 Trapeze 1 (every other week with this one too)
Thursdays 3:30-5pm Beginning Aerial Silk
Saturdays 10:30-12pm Aerial Conditioning

And I also teach privates at $45/hour or semi-privates with one other person are just $27.50/person for an hour.

Anyway - if you have any questions or interest at all, let me know…. It changed my life, it could just change yours too. :)

Also - while I am here…. Let me just remind you that my current theatre show, Current Nobody, is running for just 2 more weeks with only 6 performances left. This is a super talented cast and a smart, funny, moving show. And it runs only 85 minutes. Thurs, Fri, Sat 8pm at the Exit Theater through December 13th. www.justtheater.org

And after that, mark your calendars in the New Year for my next show:
T.I.C.
Trenchcoat in Common
a world premiere play by Peter Sinn Nachtrieb
directed by Ken Prestininzi
January 2 - February 1, 2009
at Magic Theatre, Fort Mason Center, San Francisco
Thursday-Saturday at 8:30pm, Sunday at 5:00pm
Previews: January 2 and 3 at 8:30pm, January 4 at 5pm
Opening: January 5, 2008 at 8:30pm
www.encoretheatrecompany.org

(you should check out the website just to see the press photo.)