My New Headshot...

...has surpassed my wildest expectations. it is phat.

i am so PROOOOOUUUUUD of you.

this is what my mutti would say (still says) in the voice of lovable, furry old grover when she wanted to tell me that I had done well at something. :) i like her funny voice.

last night, for probably the first time in my life, that voice was actually in MY head and was coming from me about me. it was a very surreal experience. maybe y'all are proud of yourselves a lot. and if so - that's really neat and probably good for you and stuff... but, um, my self expectations are, well, sorta ridiculous if i really want to be honest about it, and therefore, it's generally pretty hard to live up to them.

last night, after 16 hours of rehearsals broken up over 3 1/2 part days, i performed a staged reading of a one woman show with singing and piano playing... it was 90 minutes straight…of me. it was one of the scariest things anyone has ever asked me to do and that was why I said yes. :) And it ended up being one of the best theater experiences I have ever had. There is no one you can look to but you when you are the only one on stage and holy shit, there is a lot to learn about yourself and your relationship to acting and theater and life and god, everything, when are put in such a vulnerable place. Like my character said at one point in the show, "It was terrifying. I loved it!"

Life is about to change....again....

i have really bad cramps today and they are taking a lot of my mental power, so forgive me if i am wifty.

ugh.

I feel like deborah in that i cannot imagine how to catch up on the last month and a half or so...so i keep starting entries and then not finishing them because they do not cover the scope of what i am trying to get to in my update. this is silly, of course as this is just a little blog for fun...but it's also kind of nice for me to look back and remember what the hell was going on when and where and what...and well, that has not been happening. ah well. up on and onward.

So I am about to have my last few days of semi-freedom. I feel really mixed about it. This weird special hard awesome crazy irritating soft exciting time is coming to an end. This Monday, November 6th will mark my first day of rehearsal for my first new show in about 6 months. 6 months is BY FAR the longest time I have ever gone without doing theatre. yes, yes of course I have been doing amazing readings out the WHHHHHAAAAZOOO, but it's not at all the same draw on you mentally, creatively, time-managementally, physically, personal lifeally as doing a full on show. We will have to see what happens...

But for now, work calls and i must depart... feeling that, once again, i cannot keep up. BUT - lots of amazing shit has been going on...and if i ever get around to it...it will be a good update. ;)